Monday, October 19, 2009
Almost all the people I know are single. Now please do not take this wrong I am not criticising anyone here, I am not one of those married women.
Anyway I have been pondering on this subject for quite some time. You see I was one of those girls who did not want to get married. I was so convinced that the whole menkind are just out there to break your heart that I was quite happy to commit to live out my days alone. However, as we all know, this is not what happened. In fact the first amazing, lovely, witty, loveable, romantic guy that came along was booked up for the rest of my life. I get comments like: you should have waited maybe something better would have come along; quite often. Now this is where the flaw of the great modern society lies (at least in my mind).
We are at all times expecting something better to come along, the same way as we wait for that newest iPhone, or Blackberry, we do with people.
I had a friend, who has been driving me mental for years now about how much she wants to get married, call me in the middle of the night almost in tears because this guy she has been seeing wants to marry her! I was like: hm, isn't that what you want? The answer was yes it is what she wants but not so quick, next thing I know she is moaning that the new guy she is seeing doesn't want to commit yet, he wants to wait and see. So the point is, she was hoping for something better and moved on to a newer model and ended up as unhappy.
The fact is, at least so it seems, we think everything is disposable. Boyfriends, girlfriends, friends, pets, dinners, shoes, cars - you name it, it is there. We have become so much throw away society that we are willing to throw away love, just to try to find something better. Now, I bet my right arm, that most people reading this think - this is absolutely disgusting! and - it can not be so! But it is. When was the last time you dumped someone because you hoped, or believed, or expected something better to come along? When was the last time you really worked at a relationship. We always expect somebody to adapt to our life and our expectations, but what about them? What about their life, their expectations, their dreams and their wants? Do they not count?
In the olden days when people lived in much smaller towns and villages, most of the time marriages and friendships lasted longer; in fact a life time. I do not think it was all due to the fact the people were more religious, but more to the fact that you could not get away. Everyone knew everything, so you had to work at it. One had to make sure they did not screw relationships up because once that was done the way back was either blocked or very rocky and getting away most of the time was not an option. People worked at relationships at all levels and it seemed to have worked, so think about what is happening now, does it not seem that we have become really lazy and we just can't be bothered to work at it anymore? More than ever we really seem to live in the age of disposable love. Do we want our hearts to become disposable too? Because they probably already are. How are we supposed to know that the last person who skipped over us did not do so because they expected something better to come along?