Sunday, August 30, 2009

Fighting the demons

it is not easy all of us have our own demons we have to fight, most of them time we can take them on one at the time, but if we try to take on more than one at the time we fail miserably.

I don't want to fail in my fight, but I have to deal, yet again, with my demons that made me over eat years ago. I can't believe that as an adult 24 year old woman I am struggling not to stuff myself with food. The only way to deal with that before was a cigarette now I just have my will power, so far until today I was losing my battle.

I realise now that this consumerist world is designed to make us over eat, to make us buy the junk we do not need. I hate myself for my weakness but I will win.

1 comment:

Richard said...

Over eating has been a problem with me over the past few years. Now, I am dealing with it better. Of course, I had to uproot my whole life and move to MAdrid to to that.

A nuumber of things made it easier: (1) being completely divorced from all my familiar surroundings, (2) the hot weathe rwhen I arrived (nobody likes to over eat when they're sweating, (3) not speaking the language and not having a source of income that allows me to buy a lot of junk food.

As for demons ... hmmm ... one thing I have noticed is that the same demons come back day after day. I wish I could vanquish them once and for all. One particular demon is swimming. I like it. I like splashing around in the water, but ... actually getting into that water is a problem for me. There are 3 problems / bl;ocks: (1) I hate the sensation of falling, so psyching up to jump in is a big issue, (2) I hate the schock of the cold water, (3) I hate the feeling of being engulfed by the water. However, once I have managed to make it into the pool then I am ok, I can get out, jump back in, etc ...

Yet, that very same demon reares its head every time I wanted to go swimming (although, now, the water is too cold to go swimming - everyone else closed their pool for the Winter over a month ago, we were still swimming untul last week.

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