Monday, April 13, 2009

Sometimes the words are not enough...

I'm generally a lazy person. I am always late to reply to my e-mails, but when I do get round to doing it, I like to do it right, probably believing thatit may justify the delay. I'm also a very distant person, not in the sense that I like separating myself from the rest of homo sapiens, by no means no, I simply tend to push people away, especially in person. That however does not apply on my blog. You see one can only enter as much of my life as I will allow them, no more, no less and I suppose this is one of the reasons I have been so faithful to my blog. I have very few friends and in the past I have lost many, often it is my coldness that turns them away, I can be awfully cold at times. My life and my pursuits are not consistent, I am not proud of it, but that's the way I am. The same with my relationships, I do not intend it that way, it's just how it works out.

There are many words, to say many things, please and thank you in English language have almost lost their meaning, just as the word love, due to their daily usage whether it's needed or not. We say thank you, because it is polite, because our parents taught us to do so, we rarely say it from the bottom of our heart and it never seems sufficient for the occasion.

So it seems tonight, while I'm sitting here in my living room, wondering that I have always felt cheated on my childhood, ripped off and never allowed to be a child and never had a mother. If people think that I am cold they should meet my mother, she's an iceberg. Yet my life has given me enough opportunities and what even more, put me together with some amazing people. It is not a dying breed (amazing people that is) it's just the one we notice the least, because it's the quiet, reserved, not loud and thus not noticeable.

I'm writing this post, because I'm short for words, because of this, because as always I am late to reply to all the e-mails. I wish I had the words enough for this case, but I don't, so I will have to stick to the good old, worn out thank you, and even if it may not be enough it is said from the bottom of my heart, that is not cold just doesn't know how to show all the warmth that's there. Thank you.

*Image stolen from here.


Lorri said...

I know all the warmth is there.

Thank you.

Richard said...

Your first paragraph can be something I wrote. Blogging - or electronic communication, in general - is a great way to keep relationships at that comfortable distance.

In many, many ways, people are much more awkward to deal with in person. I wish it wasn't so, but it is often teh case.

I don't think you were as short for words as you thought.

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