Friday, May 22, 2009

A lump

Tonight, while sitting with my husband I felt a discomfort in my chest. It is not abnormal in my case as I have cardiac arrhythmia which is not dangerous but purely annoying as I sometimes faint (being not a frail creature it seems quite funny) so I grabbed my chest more out of instinct than pain and then I felt it. A lump was just above my breast. It's still there. My husband can't feel it, which is a good sign, because few years ago (when I was 19) I also felt a lump and my husband didn't feel it and after mammogram it was discovered that there is nothing to worry about. I am currently so aware of that lump that I still feel it. The last time I did not feel it, I simply found it during one of those regular check ups that are recommended by doctors. I do the check ups because I was taught by a nurse in England as I have a good chance of getting cancer. My grandmother among many other relatives died of breast cancer so a check up is the least I can do. I don't want to over react, like those girls who think they are pregnant after their period was late only two days, once my friend over reacted so much she actually started eating meat for the baby (she was a long time vegetarian), only to discover few weeks later that she wasn't pregnant at all. However a lump is a lump until it's investigated further. I will try to make an appointment with a doctor on Monday. I hope it's a false alarm as before. Last time I was offered to have one of those genetic tests to find out if I have cancer cells but I refused out of fear. Now I will have to go through the process which will take a lot longer than it took in England as the doctors are totally corrupt here and I can not afford to bribe anyone. I wanted to write this, because I feel like shit right this moment, I wanted to get it off my chest. Still, seeing all these words on the screen does not make me feel better. Let's hope it's just a false alarm, like before, after all it must be.


Richard said...

I hope it is nothing or benign. I know all about fears health issues can bring up. Especially if they are persistant or hard to diagnose.

Stress, is a great way to make the body behave in all sorts of unpleasant ways (and that includes, aches, pains, weakenss, lumps, burning sensations, tingling, etc).

While I haven't been around lately, I know from previous posts that you are sometimes under a bit of stress.

Relax (haha, easy for me to say), get it checked out.

I am sure you are fine, you just need a holiday. Pack some food and go for a hike and a picnic.

Take care.

Lorri said...

I hope it isn't anything serious, or if they find anything, that it is benign.

Please make sure to go to the doctor.

You've been under a lot of stress, so try to unwind when you can in between things.

Hugs to you, dear Carra.

CG said...

Richard you are certainly right about the stress and how it makes our body behave in a weird way. I try to rest, but as I'm a bit neurotic as person and for some reason seem to enjoy stressing myself out it seems more difficult to do than ever. There are days when I just lounge on the settee reading a book drinking tea, that is the best I can do.
I probably do need a holiday just don't know when I will be able to get one.

Lorri I don't think it is anything serious. As i have written I had another false alarm before. I've been trying to relax for days now, I'm just not very good at it.

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