Since I was a little girl I had a dream that one day I would have a little girl and that I would name her Athena. I have grown up, got married and shared that dream with my husband and as he loved the name as much as I did we always said we would call our daughter Athena.
In 2005 my husband's friend P married a Philippine girl and started showing off with her in front of us (some of the details he shared, while my husband was being operated and I had his mobile phone, were awful and should never be told). My husband ignored it all, he doesn't care and he knows that ignoring people like that is the best thing to do.
So the same year P and his new wife (which I had nothing against until she treated me like I am not worthy speaking to) came to announce that they were pregnant and just before they did so, I was stressing about and I misunderstood his announcement to : are we pregnant? And simply said back : no one's pregnant here. But there was. So the subject touched the baby names as P and E had already chosen them for a girl and boy, for that reason Graham and I shared our dream to call our future daughter Athena.
Yesterday, after nearly one years silence P phoned my husband again, as he in fact is so bored with his Philippine wife... And I asked Graham to ask P whether the baby was a girl or a boy. As I am really nice person and I am happy to hear of people having babies when they want them. It was a girl. Then I asked my husband to ask what is her name....
Athena something something... I held my breath, my heart stopped, I started shaking and for a moment I left the room. I spent the whole afternoon thinking 'this is not coincidence' it simply could not have possibly happened that they chose the same name...
I cried a lot. Graham thinks it's silly as it is just a name, our daughter still can be called Athena. Can she? It is not just a name for me! I built my dreams on it, I constructed the whole world, wrote poems for a girl that isn't born yet, who's name was meant to be Athena.
I chose that name because it was special, because it is Greek and Greece in my eyes is the cradle of civilisation. Because Athena is goddess of wisdom, because of so many things. I even learned to write that name in Greek and now how can I call my future daughter the same name? Knowing that a man that I really dislike (and believe me I have reasons to do so) has a daughter that's called the same! Graham does not understand me, he said :'You are childish to cry over some silly name, we don't even have a daughter yet, and there are more important things to worry about! And also Carra he had daughter first therefor he can name her what he likes it's his right!'
But what about my dreams? Shattered to little pieces. How am I meant to forgive this? Because I am sure that P remembered what we said in far away 2005 and did that to hurt us. He did not achieve in hurting us but he did achieve in hurting me! And also my husband said it is nice when people copy you, well if I in 5 years time have a daughter and I call her Athena too who will be copying whom?
I can just imagine P having so much pleasure if he knew how much he hurt me. And yes this man has done good for my husband, so what, he humiliated me on numerous occasions and this name business it's absolutely disgusting.
It is just so awfully painful and I can not and do not want to forgive and I believe it will be hard to forget, because it will be now impossible to find another name that would mean so much to me.
And yes I know there are lots of girls around the world called Athena, especially in Greece, but it isn't after all a common name like Susan, Julie or Victoria is it?
I am just so angry. I am so sure he did it on purpose.
He stole my baby's name!
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6 comments:
Carra,
maybe it just means that it was not meant in God's eyes for your daughter's name to be Athena, if it bothers you that much, just write it down all on a piece of paper and burn it, and let it go.
glad to see you are writing everyday:) I can't make myself do it, although I wish i could:)
oh, and the picture of you with your wash cap on is so cute:)
:)kim
the best is to just let it go, and when you have a child, and still adore the name, name her it!! Who cares, you naming the baby that will show him that it didn't bother you at all..which then would have foiled his evil plan!! :)
I was holding my breath when reading that you told them what you'd name your daughter. I am sorry. Don't worry too much because you'll probably almost never have to see those people if they're that mean.
Kim, I am really torn, a part of me is telling me just to let go and think of another name, but in the meantime I keep thinking 'I dreamed about it for so long, called her that name even though she is not born yet' and I am confused. One thing is clear I will see the day I actually do have her.
Julie, I really hope not to see them ever again. In fact I don't want that man and his wife coming anywhere near me. He humiliated me on numerous occasions and even though I am more than capable of humiliating his wife (as her English is terrible compared to mine) I can not even think about going down to their level. I know it was so stupid to let them know what the name was going to be and I suppose I simply didn't realise how wicked he was back then... Thanks for visiting.
In my opinion, if you still love the name Athena when you have a daughter, name her that. Obviously, there have been others who named their daughter that before and there will be yet more. I know that it is hard to swallow but you are not close with these people and shouldn't let them change what is a dream for you.
Not to trivialize this, but your situation mirrors an episode of Sex and The City where Charlotte had this name picked out since childhood for her future daughter. Then an old friend of theirs has a baby and takes that name. Charlotte is furious and devastated. You should really try to see that episode! Again, not to trvialize your frustration, but it helps to have a commiserating outlet.
In my opinion, if you still love the name Athena when you have a daughter, name her that. Obviously, there have been others who named their daughter that before and there will be yet more. I know that it is hard to swallow but you are not close with these people and shouldn't let them change what is a dream for you.
Not to trivialize this, but your situation mirrors an episode of Sex and The City where Charlotte had this name picked out since childhood for her future daughter. Then an old friend of theirs has a baby and takes that name. Charlotte is furious and devastated. You should really try to see that episode! Again, not to trvialize your frustration, but it helps to have a commiserating outlet.
B, I have seen that episode. I am still torn, and I remember thinking during that episode that it would be bloody awful if somebody stole 'Athena'. Well didn't touch wood then didn't learn the lesson either, couldn't keep my mouth shut shouldn't be moaning!
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