Today my husband and I went to the weekly Wednesday market it Lannemezan. I love that market because it’s big and you can buy three kilos of strawberries for six euros, which I obviously did. I also purchased a pair of flat sandals as all of my flat shoes were falling to pieces and I needed something to drive in, but once more that is not what I wanted to write about.
On Saturday the 13th of May there will be a Fete Des Fleurs in Lannemezan and I can’t wait for it!
Since I was a little girl I always wanted to go to a flower parade but the Fete Des Fleurs will do. I have never been to one and I have no idea what it is all about but my heart is beating excitedly right now. It started of very innocently as I watched the anime Candy Candy and the main character was in a college which would organize the flower parade in May. That particular year when my beloved character Candy was in that college they were selecting the girls born in May to be the flower girls! Me a little girl who’s birthday in fact is in May imagined ever since then myself as a flower girl! I did not know what they do or what they are for but I just dreamed of wearing this beautiful gown and being part of the parade!
Then my fantasy died off as I was getting older. It only came back nearly three years ago when I was on the ferry to Jersey (Channel Islands) on the 1st of September year 2003, I was browsing through the catalogue about the place and I saw this big picture of a flower parade with these beautiful girls smiling! My heart jumped and once more my dream came back! I imagined myself being a flower girl once more… My dream wasn’t meant to be and soon I had to leave Jersey. I never saw the flower parade and the struggles that came my way later threw all these beautiful things out of my mind. It was more important to get something for dinner and to scrape money for rent than to think of flower parades. Pitty.
A few weeks ago I saw this big advertisement in the local paper. It said Fete Des Fleurs on Saturday the 13th of May which in fact is my birthday! Now making my dream come true is a piece of cake! I have a pretty white dress to wear on Saturday and I am still wondering which flower I should be. My husband says I am a sun flower as I put smiles on people’s faces, which is really sweet. Then I remembered this beautiful thing that my childhood friend’s father once said:
- Girls like you, they don’t get noticed at first, because they are like flower buds they are not attractive, but when everyone has turned away you start to blossom in the most beautiful blossom in the world. And in fact girls like you are the most beautiful.
As I’m typing this I have tears coming out of my eyes, because I believe he was right! I did blossom when everyone turned away and I continued blossoming ‘till now and I don’t want to stop. I do not think I am the most beautiful girl in the world in my eyes, but my husband sees differently, but then the beauty is in the eye of the beholder!
Unfortunately that is not the reason that thought brought tears to my eyes. My friends father – Saulius – his name was, he was one of the most wonderful people I met in my entire life. Year later after saying that beautiful and special explanation to me committed suicide. He was a romantic, and often he replaced a father figure that I missed in my life. He never saw me blossom no matter how much I’d love to show him he was right.
I miss him and I know when I go to the fete I will think of him. It will be my birthday gift for him – a thank you gift, for giving me that little extra confidence, that extra strength to go through the life where he couldn’t. I wish I could see him just one more time for one more day - in vain. When I will be in the Fete Des Fleurs I will think of him, telling myself he was right, knowing I am another flower in this world. Whatever name you’ll give me I believe it and I won’t cry. This is the last time I’ll cry for this wonderful man because now he is a close friend of mine who lives in my heart and always will. No matter what and if I’m feeling down I will repeat to myself what he said, because it’s true! Every girl is the flower just some of us blossom later than the others.
So here I am few days from my childhood dream coming true. I really am a dreamer I will never stop and it is a luxury having your dream come true. I am sure of it.
I am happy and excited once more as I am running out of words, but the beauty is it’s not just a Fete Des Fleurs it’s a Fete Des Fleurs in France. It is my first time of participating in local events; maybe this will bring me just a little closer of being French.
And at the end of the day we are all flowers.
4 comments:
OHOHOH, please have your dear hubby take a picture for us:) Pretty please, tell him:)
Have a great time, you deserve it, you soooo deserve it!!
kim
another touching post, carra. i am such a dreamer myself and i think that following your dreams and heart is the only way to truly live life rather than merely exist. this will be such a special day for you...full of happiness, fulfillment, and memories of people such as your friend's father. enjoy the day...it is yours and you have more than earned it.
happy (early) birthday as well! i look forward to hearing about the festival...and as with kim, i too would love to see photos!!!
Such a beautiful post, dear Carra! I can imagine just how spectacular the Fete des Fleurs will be where you are! Ce sera magnifique, j'en suis sûr! Please take photos and share them with us!
OK I promise to share as many photos as possible from the Fete!
CandyTerry how come you can write in French and I can't? It's me who lives in France! :-)
Breal I totally agree with you, I always tried to follow my dreams (even though sometimes I had to fight for my existance) and it is REAL living nothing should come across between people and their dreams!
I hope I really do deserve it, after all I only live once!
And Breal thank you for the Happy Birthday my mother doesn't remember it but you did!
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