Being happy, naïve and pretty successful

M y life has been like a tornado for last few days. Firstly I have been helping my husband with his work. Then I was working on my big translation which is becoming not a translation but a new book, and even though it is very demanding and I need to use my thesaurus constantly it’s coming together slowly. I have discovered Jean-Paul’s real name: Amman; and that his owners aren’t horrible people as I thought. They actually came to us and asked if it’s ok that their dog spends so much time here. I was very happy with this discovery.
My schedule was shattered to pieces which in a way is a good thing. I do realize now, that I can not do it.
But the biggest event of all was an e-mail from a publisher. A month or so ago I wrote to 45 publishers offering Mr Weatherman as a potential children’s story. 15 of them replied following week apologising and saying that they do not accept unsolicited manuscripts, or that they are not considering publishing any new authors at this time. I purchased the writer’s handbook to find myself an agent and try to approach the publishers this way, but I was struggling with my biography. Anyway two days ago I received an e-mail from Random House (publishing company in the UK), the girl who wrote the e-mail was apologising for taking so long to reply to me and said she was taking my story to her boss and that they will get back to me soon. This is HUGE in every sense of the word, I am being considered by publishers and that means a lot to me. No matter what the outcome is I am happy. I know I am expecting and dreaming and hoping, but that’s me and I can not be any other way.
I now started believing in myself and I do realize how much this blog gave to me. My English writing skills are improving daily; I am meeting wonderful people. I am writing so much more and I am becoming more confident.
I have realized now, that my English and Lithuanian personalities are different. I am still that shy little girl when I am in Lithuanian mode, but I am strong and pretty confident woman when I am in the English mode. Fortunately most of the time I am in English mode and I am happy with it. It seems like in a way I have two personalities that are so different and while one was growing and becoming stronger, the other one was sitting in a dark corner. I wonder what kind of personality my French mode has. It hasn’t developed that much yet, so it will take time, but I am curious already.
My husband keeps telling me to slow down, because I am rushing to live. I know he’s right I agree with him, but my life even though bitter sometimes is becoming like strawberry ice cream. It is sweet and cool, not that I used word cool a lot. It just seems to be this way. My ‘bubble’ is expanding, letting more things in, my vision is becoming clearer. I realize that I have had something with me all the time I just didn’t see it.
I was browsing through my papers the other night and I found one of the ‘books’ that I wrote at the age of fourteen. I never finished it, as I didn’t like it, but I realized what I was aiming for then stayed with me until now.
I was trying to express thinking, which sometimes I find complicated, because it really is complicated. Human mind doesn’t work systematically it works in some kind of waves, we can change subjects while thinking faster than during any stimulating conversation. I started working on this aspect in my book, trying to express the way a character can think and I think the result is kind of successful. I know it will have to be corrected changed and so on, but the idea is there and the idea is working. I have so many projects in my mind, and the only reason I don’t start working with them is because I haven’t finished my current ones. But there is a lot of work to do and it’s already the end of May!
I guess I am overwhelmed in a way. I just can not stop dreaming and thinking, being naïve and hoping the best. Hoping the publishers will want my story, hoping it’s the first step in my writing career. Every journey starts with the first step. I can not wait for it to start!
So I am of to work on my book or maybe to dream about being a published writer, whatever I do, it will be my confident English side doing it!